I'm not a "feminist."  But I agree with most of the stuff women who consider themselves Feminists say.  Today though, I draw the line.  Transwomen coming in and defining what the conversation about women should be.  Like, here's the talk we need to have: why do we view victims as more legitimate and wise than non-victims (of WHATEVER!)?  It's like we learned nothing from that period in the 80s where we were all regressing ourselves to our "inner child's" level and wallowing in our pain.  Don't get me wrong: I did TONS of it.  Well, I think we did learn something--that is to say, we constructed a meaning from those events.  I think that the meaning we constructed was fallacious, however: we knee-jerk decided that ya can't blaim.  Ya gotta forgive and move on.  Blah blah blah.  But what I think was really there was that we have a REAL ATTRACTION TO OUR OWN PAIN.  We need to be heard, we want to have it validated.  I think that was the GEM.  But instead in our society, we want to shield ourselves against pain, and because it's hollering to be heard, anyone else's is so threatening.  Certainly have few of us the emotional reserves or skills to set our own shit aside for a minute and just listen. Ahu is shouting out a LOT of pain, dying for someone to hear, but doing it in a way that gets everyone to tell her to shut up!  Oh sister, I relate!